Is it me – I mean, really, is it just me! Or do coffee shops try and make my life difficult!
All I wanted was a coffee “… a filter sir? Or an Americano? “ Just a coffee … “… a filter sir? Or an Americano perhaps? “
oh.. tell you what I’ll have a cappuccino! Says I… a small one…
“I’m sorry sir… “ a small one… “oh… a TALL cappuccino” no… a small one “a TALL one it is then.. siiiiirrrr”
Now listen ! A tall suggests that the opposite is short… so if I asked for a short cappuccino? Do I get a really big one… oh know … that’s an expresso … WHAT!! Ok whats a medium sized one called… A Grande! A grande… does that not mean BIG …. Oh No..! In coffee language it means middling sized.. help me….. I have entered an alternate reality where big is small and tall is short and short is tiny and a cup of coffee is a ribbed cardboard tube of broken promises – Wait til I get started on finds left on the side of trenches!
Someone make me a goddamn coffee!